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It's not just the tops, either. This woman plays with a lot of new bottoms--she's new as a top herself, too--who don't know enough to say 'Hey, can you watch that? It wrapped my neck' or 'My kidneys are not meant for beatings.' They just don't know enough to know what kind of impact and bondage and the like is safe. My conscience twinges on this every now and then--people not getting the proper intro to SM and learning from people who aren't that clear on what's good or bad. But, then the cynic comes out and my brain starts saying 'Well, they haven't paid attention thus far to what people have said--why on earth will they start now?' That issue came up sort of when the last demo was being planned--the girl made the observation that I had to communicate this stuff to the people in a way that was not like 'Hey, I'm telling you you don't know what you're doing.' Blah. An issue of is it my problem/not my problem?


I hate the trendy shit. It only seems like this is happening lately--people who wouldn't otherwise pick up some stuff seem to because it's the cool thing to do. Maybe it's my ego kicking in, but if one more person asks me how I pierce and what I pierce with, I'm going to scream. I hate that they think they can learn piercing by hearing a demo on it, buying all the shit, and then having a go at some poor unsuspecting bottom. I haven't pierced that long, compared to what other people do--but I pierced myself exclusively for almost seven months before even thinking about doing someone else.


I hate that the women's community, invariably, falls prey to more politics. Why can dykes not get their shit together enough to function as a healthy community? Maybe I should start a new group--the motto could be 'More sex, less processing.'



I dunno. I'm in a precarious mood. The girl is finished cleaning the kitchen, so she is going to go out and bury one of her rats that died last night--which was very, very sad, then come in and be cuddled by Daddy while watching a movie and then some much-needed fucking

I'm starting to see the light. Put up or shut up. Maybe I ought to just start my own group. Bet I'd have some real enemies then--I'd be undermining the community and being passive-agressive, etc. Spawn of Satan, in short.

I don't know. I'm not really pleased with the state of my community right now. I'm going to go way out on a limb and make some blanket statements based on my own opinion, so if you thnk that's evil, stop reading now.


I'm sick of the lightweights. Yes, that is meant to be as derogatory as it sounds. I'm sick of bunny fur and a blindfold being called SM. Fucking hit someone. HURT them. Yeah, different strokes and all, but I'm tired of it. I'm sick of the collars that show up and disapear and reappear and end up on more than one person's neck in the span of a couple months. I'm sick of going to a party and seeing everyone and their dog flogging just enough to bring a little pink to completely the wrong part of someone's back. Which brings me to my next point..


I'm sick of the idiots who have no clue what they're doing--and this doesn't necessarily mean new people, but it's not exclusive. More than I hate bunny fur, I hate people who have nice implements and can walk the walk to some extent, but don't have clue number one what to do. I can't even count anymore how many times I've watched this one woman just plain fuck up. I've watched her flog a spine and, for whatever reason, completely ignore shoulders, paddle kidneys, and spank hips. Yet, she thinks she's hard and edgy because she can put some force behind a flogger. Lovely. The real kicker is, she's mentoring a few other people. Someone like her should not be let near anything until they know how to use it and know how to recognize when a mistake has been made. It's one thing to fuck up and know you've fucked up and try to rectify it, but it's something else completely to be totally oblivious.

Cooked dinner with the girl tonight--she's now doing the dishes and cleaning up the mess we made.

It's been an up and down sort of week plus. I've been nothing but grumpy lately and it's starting to piss me off. I'm starting to really resent the politics of my small community because they're stupid and petty and are starting to resemble the antics of a ten year old. Someone has a problem with someone else, they don't confront them with it in any sort of adult way--they sit on it and make snide remarks when it suits them or they or nothing at all and you have no idea why they're suddenly cold and bitchy to you. That goes along with a lack of communication--they don't try do find out why person A does X, but immediately draw conclusions and jump to judgement. No one does anything til it looks like stuff might get done without their input, nevermind that they haven't bothered to say anything up until this point. Nothing gets decided because the processing doesn't ever quit.

So, thusly, no one really wants to be involved in the group, and people that do inherently DON'T because being a part of the leadership of this group does not get you any leeway to make decisions--it makes you the whipping girl for every ornery, self-absorbed, high-and-mighty and hasn't gotten laid in a year mouth that paid dues and showed up to a meeting. I've never been one for exclusivity.